


The end.

by coffeeflavoredtears



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Blood, Hospitals, Injury, Kissing, M/M, Psychologists & Psychiatrists, Smut, Stabbing, What Have I Done, What Was I Thinking?, im sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-13 20:01:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29531682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/coffeeflavoredtears/pseuds/coffeeflavoredtears
Summary: I was told not to make this so here we are, however this took a turn I was not expecting.I don't know how to describe this madness ahead other than warning, pain.
Relationships: Alexander Hamilton/Thomas Jefferson, Randolph Emerson/Alexander Hamilton
Kudos: 8





	The end.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NightFallArises](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightFallArises/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Hamilton Files](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22943986) by [NightFallArises](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NightFallArises/pseuds/NightFallArises). 



Alexander was beyond frustrated. Thomas was off on his own yet again, which left him alone with Randolph. He wasn’t pleased in the slightest with how he had been told that no, he would need to stay, and how no, he couldn’t go and pretend Randolph didn’t exist for a weekend. To his luck Lafayette had decided the perfect way to get them to get along would be to lock them in Alexander’s own home of all places until they got along or Thomas came back to deal with the two of them.

What really upset him though was when he went to get his baby, his wonderful child, it was missing, and after a heated phone call with Lafayette he’d discovered it had been taken, everyone knowing entirely well leaving Alexander alone with a gun and the very man hed threatened to shoot with it dozens of times was a bad idea. He at least had knives though, and plenty of other weapons to choose from. 

So, with nothing better to do, he sat on his couch with his legs thrown over the side, a position Thomas would have yelled at him for lying in but he could care less. The fucker had left him there alone, he’d be damned if he listened to a single thing he would say. When that fucking annoying child barged down the stairs, it took everything in Allie’s power not to throw the nearest object at him.

If not to just watch it shatter against his body.

But he knew better. Nobody would be very pleased with him if he murdered someone who was supposed to be his partner, as little as he believed a word that came out of that man’s mouth. Randolph looked to him for a moment. “What’s for dinner?” He questioned, and Alex was pissed that he was attempting to be so calm. It frustrated him that nobody believed him when he tried to tell them, to warn him. There was no way this man was who he claimed to be, and it frustrated him.

No, not frustrated. It angered Alexander that he seemed to be so cocky and calm lying to everyone. Lying about every damned word that came out of his mouth. “I don’t know, make Lafayette bring you something. If you touch any of my shit I’ll cut your fucking hands off.” He threatened, only able to see the slight quirk of the obnoxious man’s eyebrow.

“We’re supposed to get long, I don’t think refusing to let me eat your food is very nice, is it?” He questioned, Alexander sitting up and looking at him. “And you’re in my damned home as a guest, so don’t be an asshole and eat all my food. Like I said, make Lafayette bring you something. He’s the one that’s making you stay here. He can make sure you eat.” He shot at him, a glare in his eyes as he looked to him, not happy in the slightest. He looked back to his phone and flopped back down, however when he didn’t hear Randolph either call Lafayette or go back upstairs to the room Alexander had condemned him to his groaned.

What he certainly wasn’t expecting however, was for Randolph to walk over and  _ sit on top of him _ . It was certainly an unexpected and unwelcome action, and he instinctively began to push him off. “Hey, what the fuck!” He questioned, cursing himself for his size. Randy simply continued to sit there.

“Well since you insist on acting like a child I might as well treat you like one, no?” He asked, looking down to Alexander, who was glaring. Deciding he wanted to make this as uncomfortable for him as possible, Allie smirked up to him. 

“Okay daddy.” He said smirking, a vindictive grin on his face. However much to his displeasure the comment did not have the effect he had intended when it came out of his mouth. And before he knew it and had a moment to react and fight back he felt Randolph shifting on top of him, now straddling Alexander around the stomach.

Alexander certainly did not agree with this. “Get the fuck off me!” He snapped at him, trying to push Randolph off of him, now growing increasingly more panicked as he reacted, genuinely wanting to get him off now. It was one thing to joke with the enemy. That was fine. It was fine to make fun of him, but he certainly did not intend for him to take it this far. Fuck.

Randolph looked down at the struggling man, if you could even call him that with his size underneath him, gripping at his wrists with ease. They both knew Alexander could get away if he felt truly threatened in the moment, and they both knew Alexander would not hesitate to attack him for this. However as much as Alex would never admit it, part of him was curious. Part of him wanted to know where this would go, considering he had never been one to shy away from a good fucking.

And neither of them were stupid people. They both knew the implications and where it was going, especially when Randy pressed down and kissed him. It was certainly nowhere near the cleanest kiss every, a messy clinking of teeth and a fight for dominance, both men wanting to prove a point. At one point Alexander got his wrists away from him and tangled his hands in Randy’s hair, pulling just a bit too tough, Randy responding with an especially hard bite on Allie’s bottom lip, the taste of blood entering into the kiss, though neither of them cared.

Without much care, clothing was shed and thrown onto the floor mindlessly, Alex at some point ending up on top of Randy, the entire ordeal continuing to be a messy battle for dominance. When they managed to get their clothing off and they were both fully nude, Alexander removed his hand from Randy’s hair with a sharp tug, earning a small moan from the other man, who leaned down and began to mark up Alexander’s throat, Alex moaning a bit at the feeling.

Reaching down, Alex grabbed him by the balls, squeezing tightly until he heard a sharp gasp as Randy pulled away to remove Alexander’s hands, giving up and tightly wrapping his hands around the smaller man’s throat until he gave up to scratch for air. As Alexander looked up, he was able to see it in his eyes. One of the rare times he could read Randy’s microexpressions and it was in a moment he could see the other thinking about pressing just a bit harder. OLh it would be so easy in that moment for him to kill Alexander. 

But he didn’t. And Alexander knew it was to keep suspicion off him and keep him out of trouble. If Alexander’s instincts were correct he couldn’t risk getting in trouble like Allie could. He couldn’t risk being as reactive. But the moment quickly passed and the hands around his throat loosened a little, quickly replaced with Randt’s mouth and  _ fuck _ if he finally found a use for his mouth. 

They were messy, Randy continuing to mark up Alexander as he continued to fight against him a bit, only pausing for a moment when Randy forced himself inside Alexander, no warning given and no prep done. He practically screamed at the sensation, and he fought to get away, but god did he love the pain at the same time, the raw feeling of Randy’s cock pressing into him was an amazing feeling and fuck if he didn’t enjoy the splitting pain.

He closed his eyes as he let out a small moan, which certainly made the situation all the more conflicting. On the one hand he knew this man was lying about everything he had ever told them, but on the other hand fuck did his dick feel good. He closed his eyes and arched up a bit, feeling Randy begin to move inside him. 

Alexander continued to fight against him as Randolph began to thrust into him, starting off at a quick, thoughtless and inexperienced pace. Randy was clearly not thinking very much for Alexander’s enjoyment, and Alex took advantage of it. He waited until Randy began to get a little too lost before flipping their positions, pressing his hands around Randolph’s throat as he continued to ride him, a small moan escaping his lips.

He managed to keep control for a decent while before Randy began to overpower him again, taking advantage of his hands being free to grab ALexander by the hair, yanking it back without warning. The action only stirred Allie to attention more than he already had been, and as he was quickly overpowered again, the feeling of harsh lips on his own a sudden feeling.

Their teeth again clanked as they fought for dominance in the kiss, both of them trying to take over the other’s control, trying to take over and control them. They both wanted it. They both wanted to overpower the other, and it only resulted in more fighting between the two, the occasional moan escaping one of their lips.

It was a hoy, messy battle, one that almost felt as if it would have no end. No end in sight until Alexander wanted. It was not something Alexander ever would want, but his struggling only encouraged Randolph further. He felt a hand close around his throat as a new set of panic began to settle in, ALexander truly fighting now, but he only then realized how truly lightheaded he was. He physically couldn’t fight him, and the last thing he recognized before he slipped into unconsciousness was the feeling of a hand tightening around his throat.

…   
  


The next time Alexander awoke he felt a sharp pain in his side, listening to a faint beeping. He couldn’t open his eyes just yet, and it worried him. Why did he feel so weak? Why was he in so much pain? He heard the beeping speed up as he began to panic and realized he must be in some kind of hospital. That meant there had to be people around. He tried to sit up, when he heard someone shift in a chair beside him, calling for a doctor to come.

He managed to open his eyes at this point, only to be greeted to the sight of Thomas holding him down while doctors rushed in to check on him. Everything sounded funny, but seeing Thomas there only worried him more. Thomas wasn’t supposed to be there. He was supposed to be on a solo mission, so why was he there and why was Alexander in the hospital? It was a scary moment of panic, but as they gave him new sedatives he was forced to physically calm down, despite his mind running in a million different directions.

As he looked around, looking to Thomas in particular he could see the worry and relief mixing in his partner’s features. And that was when he looked down at himself to see his side heavily bandaged, bruises that he never remembered receiving covering his hips, and many other scratches and bruises littering his skin in dozens of places. This time when he looked back up he felt Thomas hug him, and still being rather confused as to what was going on he finally brought himself to speak.

“What happened?” He asked, frowning and hesitating as he looked to him, his eyes wide. He could now see why he was in so much pain. He had clearly been attacked, and Thomas clearly had information he didn’t about how it had happened.

“Allie I’m so sorry… I should have believed you- If- If we had listened-” He spoke, only frustrating Alex more.

“What happened?” He repeated, his voice gruff as he spoke much louder this time.

“Randolph attacked you. He didn’t know Laf had taken out all your guns for the weekend and ended up stabbing you a few times. Lafayette didn’t get very much information out of him before he was shot. We don’t know exactly what else happened before they realized you had been attacked.” Thomas explained, his voice somber. “Randolph was shot and killed in the argument. We don’t yet know his true identity, so until we do we’re still referring to him as Randolph Emerson. Did… Did he tell you anything? What happened?” 

Alex wanted to be upset at him for worrying so much. God, he wanted to slap the worry off his usually so smug face. But he could see. He knew that Thomas was genuinely scared, and he was able to deduce it had been because of what had happened to him.

“I’d rather not talk about it right now… Just… please fill me in. I need to know what’s happened… How long was I out?” He asked, attempting to reach out to Thomas when he realized he couldn’t move his arm.

And that was cause for panic for the sniper. 

Seemingly able to sense something was off, Thomas frowned and moved closer. “Are you okay?” He asked, looking at his partner.

Allie could only shake his head, lifting his opposite hand. That one could move just fine, but he couldn’t… He wasn’t able to hold his baby… He couldn’t hold Euremaker and shoot as accurately with one hand. “I can’t…” He muttered, straining to do something, move his fingers, but when Thomas got the message and moved the limp hand, he realized, calling for a doctor right away.

He could handle being stabbed. He could survive that. He could go on. But his hands. His hands are what kept him working, and his work is what kept him moving every day. He didn’t feel anything Thomas or the doctors did to his hand, and after a more thorough check they found he couldn’t move or feel anything below his elbow. His upper arm was okay. He felt the pokes and the prods, but nothing came from his hand.

And it broke him. It put a fear in him he never thought he would experience, and he couldn’t stop himself from sobbing when the doctor informed him there was likely some kind of nerve damage that had happened. He was unable to stop himself from crumpling in place, ears pouring down his face as he felt Thomas pull him into a hug, supporting him and keeping him there. In the moment. At some point he heard Lafayette and Washington enter the room, asking about the news they had gotten, both leaving sounding somber, assuring Alex and Thomas they would find some kind of replacement.

But he knew it was useless. He knew a prosthetic would never fully replace his hand. And he refused to look up at any of his visitors. 

All the while, Thomas stayed at his side, answering questions Alex knew he knew the answers to and managing to coax ones he didn’t know out of Alexander, but everyone could tell that something like this may be what breaks Alexander hamilton.

Something like this may be what causes him to finally snap, to finally lose that one shred of sanity he had managed to cling to all these years.

The one time Thomas had left the room Alexander had gotten frustrated being unable to feel anything in his arm and had stabbed himself with a pair of medical scissors, only sobbing harder seeing nothing but blood pouring out of the wound, and not a tinge of pain to accompany the injury. After that they’d tried sedating him again, but ended up agreeing to allow him to remain unrestrained as long as Thomas was there to watch him, though it was more so because they all knew restraints wouldn’t do anything for him.

At some point Alex and Thomas managed to get some rough sleep, however neither of them felt rested when they awoke, Lafayette sitting in a new chair at the edge of the room, worried Alex would awake wile Thomas was asleep and freak out again. And it almost happened.

Alex had been the first one to awake again, and now with no more tears left to cry looked around for something, anything he could use to try and induce some kind of feeling in his arm, however seeing Lafayette sitting in the chair at the edge of the room told him he certainly shouldn’t act on such an impulse.

“How are you feeling?” Lafayette asked as he stood and made his way over, sitting on the edge of the bed next to Alexander. 

“Mentally, emotionally, or physically?’ Alex asked, nothing but hurt and fear of the future in his eyes. It was rare moments like these where Allie’s age truly showed through. Moments like these when they could all see just how young he truly was beneath his cocky exterior. And it was painful to anyone who knew him well to see him in such a vulnerable state.

Lafayette didn’t find it very funny that he seemed to be joking. “All three.” He told him with a sigh. “We’ve all been worried about you.” He told him softly.

Alex paused for a moment. He wanted to lie. He wanted to tell them all he was just fine and he didn’t need anyone to be worried. But he wasn’t, and they all knew it. He couldn’t hold a gun, he couldn’t do anything with one of his hands, and that on top of everything was far too stressful to be worrying about. He sighed softly and wrapped his arms around himself. “I’m fucking terrible. I can’t do anything right now, and there’s nothing me or anyone else can do about it. What am I going to do if I can no longer hold a gun? 

“If I’m unable to shoot and unable to do my job what am I going to do” He asked. “I don’t have a job, I don’t have anything without my ability to use his hand. There’s nothing I can do, and I don’t fucking like it…” He mumbled. “I’m useless now. If I can’t… If I can’t work what am i good for?” He questioned, Lafayette frowning.

“Alexander please don’t talk like that… You know if you keep talking like that I do have to report it because like it or not you still have a job here. We will find you someone to help and find someone to take care of you and get a solution. But reacting as you have will help nobody, there’s even hand transplants that have been done, maybe you’ll be lucky and we can replace where the nerves have been damaged…” He suggested.

Alex only shook his head, not wanting to hear it. “And how long will that take? Months? Years? I can’t...l I wasn’t made to sit still I can’t do this.. I can’t…” He muttered, his breath slowly starting to quicken, his heart rate monitor starting to go off. The loud beeping awoke Thomas who called fro a doctor to come, and before ALex could do much damage to himself or anyone else, he was hit with the dose of sedatives, forcing him to fall asleep. All Allie felt was a rush of cold through his veins before falling asleep once again.

Yet again he awoke to the sounds of beeping, however this time he couldn’t move. This time he had been strapped into the bed, which only caused more panic, Thomas rushing over to him and gently pressing his chest down. “Hey, hey just breathe, okay? Just safety. If you can tell me you’ll be safe I can take them off…” He assured softly, waiting for Alexander to give a small nod before removing the restraints.

It didn’t take long for Alexander to sit up once he was let out of the restraints, curling in on himself. He moved his functional arm to hold his legs, hating how his other arm simply laid there next to him with no feeling. He could see blood through his bandages and yet he still felt nothing. He let out a frustrated scream, Thomas grabbing his upper arms. “Hey, allie look at me…” He said softly.

“You are going to be okay. We’ve already got you on a list to either find a functional prosthetic or get you a new arm. We will get you taken care of…” He assured softly, holding him close. 

However Alexander wasn’t having it. He wasn’t having any otf it. He wanted nothing to do with any of this, he wanted to go, he wanted to shoot his guns and forget about all this. He didn’t want to think about anything that had happened and handle it the only way he knew how.

But he didn’t even have that anymore. He had nothing, no way of managing it. Thomas had the Nightcrawler, but he no longer had his thing, his thing that made him happy and helped him manage everything and it was terrible. He didn’t like it, he didn’t want to deal with it, and he glared at Thomas even though he knew it wasn’t Thomas he was angry at. Nobody could have predicted what had happened and nobody could have predicted how things had gone. It was by pure chance things turned out this way.

He took a chance to push Thomas away, shoving him as hard as he could with his one functional hand. “Just shut up about it! Stop talking about it! I don’t want to think! I don’t want to remember! I don’t want to be fucking alive right now! Because what’s really the point? What’s the point of all this if I don’t have my one thing? The one thing that always helps me?” He questioned, tears rolling down his face as he shouted at him, grabbing the nearest object, which was a metal tray and throwing it at Thomas, the clang of it against the wall alerting the doctors as they rushed in to sedate him once again, the world going dark.

Yet again the next time he awoke he was restrained, however this time Thomas, Lafayette, and Washington were talking quietly in the corner of his room, the restraints much more secure than they had been before. He watched Washington sign some papers, Thomas looking over sadly and seeing him now awake, walking over and sitting next to him, running a gentle hand through his hair. “The doctors decided you aren’t safe here… They’re moving you to a new facility where you can get some real help… We’ll all come see you but Allie this isn’t healthy… You’re not okay…”

Thomas’ voice was soft, but to Allie it was sandpaper. He didn’t like the words, he didn’t like the implications. With a glare he spat at him and began to fight against his restraints. “I don’t need fucking help I need my fucking arm!” He screamed at all of them. “Fuck you! Fuck all of you!” He continued to scream, but it was pointless. He couldn’t get out, and he could see it in all their faces. They  _ pitied _ him like this, which was only all the more frustrating.

But he had no choice. This time when the doctors came in to sedate him they also started to move his bed, starting to push it down the hallway. He screamed and shouted until they put some kind of mask over his face to keep his shouts muffled, but it only angered and frustrated him more as he was wheeled away, screaming and fighting as much as he couldn. He was fine, he would be fine. He just needed his guns.

He just needed his arms back... And the longer he couldn’t talk or fight the more he began to think. The more he began to blame. It was everyone else’s fault he could no longer hold a gun. It was their fault. If someone. Anyone had believed him about Randolph Emerson none of this would have happened. He would still be working side by side with Thomas, sitting in the Nightcrawler and happy. 

This was not happy. Not even tolerable for him. They were right. It wasn’t his fault. It was theirs, and now he was being sent off to a shrink because of them. But before he could try to get himself out he 3was sedated yet again.

He was stuck, he was alone. When he awoke he was no longer in a hospital bed, but in an empty, padded room. He climbed up on shaky feet and looked to see unusable arm had been wrapped up and placed in a sling to keep it from dangling, though he could care less as he looked around for something, anything. But there was nothing but a small camera in the corner of the room. He looked to it and glared, and before too long Thomas came inside the room, alone, but he knew he was being watched now. He knew it was probably Laf and Washington watching the camera.

ANd without thinking he swung at Thomas. He was angry, and he blamed him for this. He didn’t believe him. He didn’t keep him safe around someone he had told everyone intended to do harm to them, and yet he was the one now suffering because of their actions.

He managed to claw at Thomas’ face, glaring at him. “Leave me the fuck alone! Get out of here!” He screamed, hearing footsteps approaching and opening the door. “I swear!” He tried swinging again, though this time he was being restrained by a group of doctors. “I swear if I ever see you again you’re dead Jefferson! I’m going to fucking kill you! You, and Washington, and Lafayette! You’re all going to be dead if I ever get my hands on you!” He screamed, feeling a doctor inject him with something, his entire body going limp as he watched Thomas’ shocked expression as he was led out, his entire world going dark with the image of both physical and emotional pain on his face.


End file.
